The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend we haven’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day’. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying."
— Grey’s Anatomy
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Lost Horizon
At 2 in the night her mother’s cell phone rang, with her daughter’s name flashing on it. She quickly picked it up as she was already getting restless waiting for her to return from the office party. At the other end of the phone, she heard a male voice, he said something. And her mother came out rushing on the street. She was being helped by 2 men from her office , helping her walk back home
She was drunk , bereft of everything going around her
Next morning, when she woke up , she had no idea what had happened the previous night, her head was paining. Hangover, she thought.
She called up her friend who told her everything- from how she got drunk to the extent that she lost all her sense , even started abusing around , and finally had to be dropped back home by her office colleagues..She was ashamed, not because it would be difficult to face everyone in the office around but for the fact that what her mother would have felt when she would have seen her in that state
The next question that she asked was- Was HE around? Did HE came forward to help me?
Her friend replied – yes he was..just as a spectator
She felt a pang of pain she knew he wasn’t the man, but she had still got herself to believe that he is a nice and caring individual and he likes her and maybe with time will even start loving her too. Somewhere when she started she knew it was superficial and there is nothing lasting in the relationship, , but she felt good with him being around, even if that was momentarily at least she didn’t feel lonely any more.
She still had to face her family, so she just brushed the pain in her heart away and mustered up the courage to face her mother and sister. She stepped out of her room, her mother was all paranoid, shouted on her, taunted her, even slapped her whereas her younger sister decided not to talk to her, she just stood there silently .because she knew what she did was grossly wrong and deserved every bit of what she was getting now
Few hours later ,there were some bills to be paid, her mother was looking at (her father had passed away five years back and financially they were a bit strained), she came forward and took the bills from her mother’s hand and said I will pay them, I have my salary left with me.
What followed would have a left a normal individual very satisfied but for her- it broke her completely
Her mother smiled, and got normal completely forgetting about the incident that had happened just last night. She was in for a shock, wondering how could her mother just forgive her so easily forget the blunder she had done, got a bad name for the family… It left her baffled
She thought to herself, why did her mother forgive her so easily? Was it the fact that she paying the money? Or her mother had suddenly transformed into being super magnanimous, which was so much unlike her.
When she later told me the incident- I told her maybe her mother thought that “at least you were getting responsible and what had happened last night was a mistake and you will never repeat it, and that is the reason she is behaving normally, taunting you every now and then won’t help any which ways”
I wish that was the truth, but that wasn’t
Her mother was ok with EVERYTHING she did, as long she handed over the money she earned.
At that one moment her all moves seems justified, going into wrong relationships, getting physically close to people just for the heck of it., drinking alcohol ,and even smoking which she had just started lately.
P.S There isn’t a end to this post , because I myself don’t know what will follow next in her life, I wish sometimes only sometimes there were fairy God mothers for real because some people badly need them .
She was drunk , bereft of everything going around her
Next morning, when she woke up , she had no idea what had happened the previous night, her head was paining. Hangover, she thought.
She called up her friend who told her everything- from how she got drunk to the extent that she lost all her sense , even started abusing around , and finally had to be dropped back home by her office colleagues..She was ashamed, not because it would be difficult to face everyone in the office around but for the fact that what her mother would have felt when she would have seen her in that state
The next question that she asked was- Was HE around? Did HE came forward to help me?
Her friend replied – yes he was..just as a spectator
She felt a pang of pain she knew he wasn’t the man, but she had still got herself to believe that he is a nice and caring individual and he likes her and maybe with time will even start loving her too. Somewhere when she started she knew it was superficial and there is nothing lasting in the relationship, , but she felt good with him being around, even if that was momentarily at least she didn’t feel lonely any more.
She still had to face her family, so she just brushed the pain in her heart away and mustered up the courage to face her mother and sister. She stepped out of her room, her mother was all paranoid, shouted on her, taunted her, even slapped her whereas her younger sister decided not to talk to her, she just stood there silently .because she knew what she did was grossly wrong and deserved every bit of what she was getting now
Few hours later ,there were some bills to be paid, her mother was looking at (her father had passed away five years back and financially they were a bit strained), she came forward and took the bills from her mother’s hand and said I will pay them, I have my salary left with me.
What followed would have a left a normal individual very satisfied but for her- it broke her completely
Her mother smiled, and got normal completely forgetting about the incident that had happened just last night. She was in for a shock, wondering how could her mother just forgive her so easily forget the blunder she had done, got a bad name for the family… It left her baffled
She thought to herself, why did her mother forgive her so easily? Was it the fact that she paying the money? Or her mother had suddenly transformed into being super magnanimous, which was so much unlike her.
When she later told me the incident- I told her maybe her mother thought that “at least you were getting responsible and what had happened last night was a mistake and you will never repeat it, and that is the reason she is behaving normally, taunting you every now and then won’t help any which ways”
I wish that was the truth, but that wasn’t
Her mother was ok with EVERYTHING she did, as long she handed over the money she earned.
At that one moment her all moves seems justified, going into wrong relationships, getting physically close to people just for the heck of it., drinking alcohol ,and even smoking which she had just started lately.
P.S There isn’t a end to this post , because I myself don’t know what will follow next in her life, I wish sometimes only sometimes there were fairy God mothers for real because some people badly need them .
Sunday, August 15, 2010
C’est lavie
I can’t wake up in the morning, I mean early mornings. Though I can be awake till dawn and then be super active for the following day at least till.dusk without sleeping On that I am even better than owls.(bwahahaha) And contrary when I sleep for 7-8 hours, I can still be yawning the next day throughout feeling all sleepy and lazy .
I know I am a strange creature.
So the task of waking me up in the mornings was quite an uphill one,mumma used to wake me and bhai up around the same time for school, he had to leave 15 minutes earlier than me so I used to persist that he should wake up first and take a bath(there was only one bathroom), in the meantime I could catch 10-15 minutes of my beauty sleep. There were days he used to get ready and was about to leave and I was still sleeping coz mumma forgot to come to check on me again probably she got busy in packing the lunch for us. On days like that, my school bus use to be waiting outside, mumma use to be tying my hair, papa use to be tying my shoe laces( yes I didn’t know how to tie my shoe laces till 4th grade ,) and I use to be struggling with my glass of milk, which never seemed to finish . Of course this was multitasking, sadly only for my parents
So on days when she use to get tired of waking me up, she use to say that –I m going, “papa is going to come and wake you up now” and hearing this I use to jump to my feet ,.. No, my dad isn’t as temperamental as Amrish Puri in some villainous role , but he doesn’t have the patience to wake a moron like me specially in mornings, although I am my dad’s favorite over bhai but somehow he used to get impatient and irritated if I didn’t wake up immediately. It was rear when mom opted to blackmailing of this sort though, because when she did ,she knew I would get nasty and not take my lunch, (yes I was like this or maybe I still am)
Almost 3 years that mom passed away, I try wake up myself now, but ask dad to wake me up in case I don’t wake up by myself. Its surprising, he has become more tolerant and patient, he doesn’t get irritated if I don’t wake up immediately, and when I go off to sleep in mornings( exam time, I study thru night and catch up my sleep in morning) he just comes into the room to switch off the lights, remove the books from my bed and covers me with a blanket. This is so much unlike him Circumstances, sometimes change us, and we don’t even realize
Mornings have surely become better, yes I do miss mom, but its comforting to know that dad is around to take care just like mom did..And on Sundays he lets me sleep till I the time I don’t wake up myself, just like mom did
Also there is a song – C’est la vie by Shania Twain, not one among my favorites but a line or two in between just seems perfect to add some rhyme to this post
Don't let it get to you
C'est la vie! That's life,
and that's how it's gonna be
C'est la vie! Hold tight,
it comes right eventually
Yes it does comes right eventually ( at least I would like to believe it)
I know I am a strange creature.
So the task of waking me up in the mornings was quite an uphill one,mumma used to wake me and bhai up around the same time for school, he had to leave 15 minutes earlier than me so I used to persist that he should wake up first and take a bath(there was only one bathroom), in the meantime I could catch 10-15 minutes of my beauty sleep. There were days he used to get ready and was about to leave and I was still sleeping coz mumma forgot to come to check on me again probably she got busy in packing the lunch for us. On days like that, my school bus use to be waiting outside, mumma use to be tying my hair, papa use to be tying my shoe laces( yes I didn’t know how to tie my shoe laces till 4th grade ,) and I use to be struggling with my glass of milk, which never seemed to finish . Of course this was multitasking, sadly only for my parents
So on days when she use to get tired of waking me up, she use to say that –I m going, “papa is going to come and wake you up now” and hearing this I use to jump to my feet ,.. No, my dad isn’t as temperamental as Amrish Puri in some villainous role , but he doesn’t have the patience to wake a moron like me specially in mornings, although I am my dad’s favorite over bhai but somehow he used to get impatient and irritated if I didn’t wake up immediately. It was rear when mom opted to blackmailing of this sort though, because when she did ,she knew I would get nasty and not take my lunch, (yes I was like this or maybe I still am)
Almost 3 years that mom passed away, I try wake up myself now, but ask dad to wake me up in case I don’t wake up by myself. Its surprising, he has become more tolerant and patient, he doesn’t get irritated if I don’t wake up immediately, and when I go off to sleep in mornings( exam time, I study thru night and catch up my sleep in morning) he just comes into the room to switch off the lights, remove the books from my bed and covers me with a blanket. This is so much unlike him Circumstances, sometimes change us, and we don’t even realize
Mornings have surely become better, yes I do miss mom, but its comforting to know that dad is around to take care just like mom did..And on Sundays he lets me sleep till I the time I don’t wake up myself, just like mom did
Also there is a song – C’est la vie by Shania Twain, not one among my favorites but a line or two in between just seems perfect to add some rhyme to this post
Don't let it get to you
C'est la vie! That's life,
and that's how it's gonna be
C'est la vie! Hold tight,
it comes right eventually
Yes it does comes right eventually ( at least I would like to believe it)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)